Wednesday, May 4, 2011

3 show stoppers

1 Sandwich Chillers, you know the obligatory steel food cabinet.
2 The "tuck", the "Jerry Seinfeld", the man with the shirt tucked in.
3 Don Brash and his ungainly gait, yes his walk.

Sandwiches, lets get to the nitty gritty here. Bread is a nice wrapper, it sits in a bag for a few days without going stale, it can be heated to make warm welcoming toast, or it can wrap those lovely fillings and hold together a very satisfying lunch. Thats two states of niceness, warm or room temperature. When EVER is it ok to eat cold or chilled bread. It's downright wrong. So why do we have to buy our sandwiches from coffee shops etc from those bloody chillers. What happened to those veneer coated sandwich racks, with the plastic doors that you opened, and you used the tongs to put your selected treat on your own plate. These sandwiches were especially a treat as a kid when on the top floor of the Farmers building. Oh the selections were endless, salad sandwiches which specialised in iceburg lettuce, cheese and onion, egg with parsley. The real clanger for me was that the ladies who made these culinary delights did so with love in their hearts and fags in their mouths, and not within a bulls roar of a chilled cabinet. Harden up New Zealand, bring back the veneer.

So Greg Norman did it, Jerry Seinfeld specialised in it, and now men who really should have learnt from the 80's are still doing it. It's not OK, its downright not on. I don't care what the excuse is, the tuck is the tuck, stop it right now.

Ok so why is Dons gait such a show stopper. Well firstly he walks upright, OK thats fine but when he turns to address others he has the stiff neck, and then he has that sort of protruding foot gait where the foot isn't sure if there will be ground under it as it's about to land. When you add the turning stiff body and the unsure stride, its all over. Did anyone see him get in and out of the midget a few years back. Sorry Don it's all over, put the slippers on and get a blanket over the knees, find the lazy boy and take the 430pm Nursery Dinners.

Life cant go on while society accepts this sort of behaviour.


clarevnz said...

re the characteristics of a leader - how about kindness for one (I know old fashioned, woosie,(how do you spell that?) definitely not manly, but anyhoo I like that quote that says "wisdom is knowing what to overlook" and those people who nitpick (and they know who they are) definitely are NOT kind.
As for show stoppers - all I'm saying is men with any kind of zipper on his shoe cannot leave said shoes under my bed......

GimliNZ said...

"Pants on the ground, pants in the ground, lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground!!"

No not the former mayor, future ACT MP, John!
Them that has the money!!
In this day and age with instant transactions at point of sale, why does it still take 2-3 days for an internet transaction to come through over a weekend? Do they have to wait for the goblins to turn up for work on Monday and physically move the funds from one bank to another?? So even though it disappears out of the payer's account instantly, it doesn't appear in the payee's account for a couple of days. Where does it go over that time?? Does it have a cash holiday, kicks back on some loungers by the pool for a couple of days? Or do the filthy money grubbing bankers use our money to make a some more for themselves by investing elsewhere without having to pay out any interest on it to us poor punters.
This is the 21st Century people, if I can order a physical product from another country and have it at my door within 24 hours then surely we can shuffle a few figures around within hours, no matter what day of the week it is!!


Anonymous said...

Agreed! The people who chill sandwhich cabinets have not saved any lives. These people should be made to apologise.. And now i think about it - so should these people

1. Alanis Morrisette - for tricking us all into thinking that she could sing in 1995 and then blowing on that retched harmonica for 3 years. Let's be honest - it sounded like someone doing water boarding on a turkey.

2. The people who invented liquid soap. Bars of soap were fine and at least some of it ended up being used.

3. Anne Tolley - for leaving real estate.

4. Any Zealand company who uses an american voice over to promote their product or service

I am only getting started....


Regan Orr said...

Are people still tucking their shirts into jeans??

Pete Hall said...

The tuck is a sad state of affairs, and perhaps a date stamp, similar to "See you at Burgundy's!!" ( Kiwi TV reference.. Did you get that? … *Stamp* ) I've been known to indulge in a bit of tuckage over the years. Not as a fashion statement per se, more as a structural, protective move that offered an important public service.

My 3 showstoppers.

1: People who say 'utilize' instead us 'use'. Not sure which one to use? It's probably 'use'. Utilize wasn't invented as an handy tongue twisting alternative for people with a hankering for superfluous syllables. Use gets under…used, and utilized gets over … used. All that ignored printing that gets left round the copier after some cherub who wanted 8000 copies of his Photo-boothed grimace cuts loose on a lazy Monday arvo?.. That gets under …utilized.

2: Sneans. ( wearing sneakers with jeans ) Like a colonoscopy, sneans are both functional, and not OK.

3: People who AB-so-LUtely in-SIST on giving you step-by-step driving directions, especially when your wielding a hand held GPS unit that can even tell you where to stop for a good bottle on the way.
When you can have a gliding blue dot guide you there in real time, a complex series of instructions just becomes cognitive teflon, taking up time that could be better spent planning for world peace or learning a new language.

"You know the one, not the one with the dairy on the corner, the one AFTER that!?"… … "No?!!"………….."Oh you MUST know!"

Podgorani said...

seems there are a few upset people who just have to say something.
i need to work out if sneans, is running shoes with jeans, or sand shoes with jeans. Huge difference.

there are a few upper cuts to be delivered, arent there?

Steve and Lorraine said...

Can't agree with the tuck. Those who leave their shirt hanging out only do it for one of four reasons
1. They're just too lazy to tuck it in.
2. They are middle age trying to hide middle age spread
3. They think they are trendsetters and followers of fashion, in other words they are followers!!
4. The have no fashion sense.
Tucked in shirts are neater looking and show pride in appearance. Please note that this is only true when trousers are at waist rather than bellybutton level.